Mario Education
by brandonglee123
Summary: What have we really learned from Mario games?  After Super Mario Galaxy came out, I decided to sit down and do some research...
1. Super Mario 64

What have we really learned from playing Mario games for many years? In each chapter, I will discuss the many things that we've learned from Mario games, so let's look at some now…

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Super Mario 64

If you fall in lava, you will shoot 20 feet up and emerge unharmed. (Mostly…)

Fat plumbers can perform aerodynamic jumps.

Plumbers will do anything for cake.

When you lose your hat, you will get hurt more.

Giant dinosaurs like to swim around in circles.

Yoshi likes to stand on top of castles.

You can jump off of walls.

Coins can HEAL you.

You can jump through walls and emerge in magical places.

You can come back to life even if you fall into lava or drown.

Shells are actually transportation units of destruction.

Never-ending stairs are NOT never-ending.

You can breathe through your feet. (Try!)

Princesses like to make cake and give them to plumbers.

Falling from 100 feet in the air MIGHT kill you.

Penguins like to race and lose their kids.

Hats can fly.

Water can kill you.

Giant snowmen like to blow a lot.

Pink bob-ombs like to stand in places that are hard to reach.

Princesses like to put giant slides in their castle.

Monkeys like hats.

Bunnies are fast and have stars for some reason.

You must talk to toads in order for them to give you their power star.

Toads only say one thing, and if you repeatedly talk to them, they will say the same thing over and over again.

Yay! We're done! Review if you would like another chapter!


	2. Super Mario Sunshine

Look! It's Chapter 2! It's a miracle!

Thanks to all the people who reviewed to the first chapter! You guys are great!

For this chapter, I've decided to dissect/resurrect an old favorite: Super Mario Sunshine.

BUT! This is a special chapter. This is a secret QUESTIONS chapter, which means these are QUESTIONS that we wonder about when we play the game. So, here we go!

P.S. If you have a hard time figuring out how these are funny, say so in a review.

How can Yoshis spit juice?

Do Bullet Bills live a secret life as kamikazes?

Why does slime hurt you?

How come Petey Piranha can fly?

Why do giant bloopers have corks in their mouths?

Why don't lily pads break when we step on them?

What ARE Cataquacks, and why do only red ones hurt you?

How does Delfino Plaza flood at the end of the game?

Why do sunglasses and a t-shirt have such little significance?

How do Piantas catch on fire in the first place?

How do Cheep-cheeps turn into platforms with juice?

Why do Yoshi eggs care about what fruit you throw at them?

How does killing a sludgy piranha plant miraculously clean up the whole area?

How does the hover option on FLUDD make any sense at all?

Why doesn't anyone notice that there's a freaking pipe on top of the giant tower in the middle of town?

In the beginning of the game, why doesn't the game TELL you that you can run and spray at the same time?

How does the sewer system reach out to distant islands and high ledges?

Why are there giant watermelons and giant watermelon contests?

Why is the guy in the blue coin shop hoarding all of the shine sprites that he has when they're needed to save the world?

Okay, now I have writer's block. Please review! Plus, I'm sorry for making it short!


	3. Mario Kart 64

Chapter 3! Yay!!! HA to all of you who thought that this was discontinued! I'll just skip to the funny stuff, but I have to thank all of the reviewers! …you know who you are. And now, Mario Kart gets its own personal glory! …Of problems. (By the way, this is only Mario Kart 64. The other "karts" will have their moments of glory soon enough.)

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the the characters, karts, course design rights, or any scenarios in ANY Mario Kart. Just saying.

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What have we learned from Mario Kart 64?

Crashing into a train will NOT kill you.

Neither will crashing into trucks, cars, or being thwomped by a Thwomp.

It's okay to fall into ice ponds. Some guy on a cloud will probably pull you out anyway.

On really big turns, letters will start coming out of your exhaust pipe if you drift well.

Nintendo thought that it would be funny to make a SUPER LONG Rainbow Road course at the end of the final cup.

Nintendo also thought that it would be funny to include Princess Peach's castle in one of the courses, but they made it basically IMPOSSIBLE to finish the race in 1st if you DO discover it.

You can flip over on your kart and NOT break your neck.

For some reason, bananas will cause you to spin out and slow down, no matter how well designed your kart is.

It IS humanly possible to make a kart jump!

Ever wonder what made the balloon battle mode just so DARN addicting? That's right. You don't.

Lighting shrinks you, but that's okay, since you'll probably grow back to normal in a couple of seconds anyway.

…Why are there **EXACTLY** 2 EXTREMELY GOOD computers in every Grand Prix Race?

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Okay, I'm done poking fun at Mario Kart 64. Read and Review, cause you've already done exactly one-half of what I just said.


	4. Paper Mario 64

Chapter 4! How long has it been? What? 6 months? Wow. Maybe you should read my other stories instead…

Anyway, this time, it's Paper Mario 64! Cause that game was AWESOME.

Disclaimer: I don't own the scenario, characters, plot, background, game design, or credits of the game. However, I have played it, and the questions below are of my own thoughts.

Get ready for another SPECIAL chapter!

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How exactly did Bowser's castle get UNDERNEATH Peach's castle? ANYONE?

Anyone else find it extremely gay when the Koopa Bros. made that Bowser costume?

How do tornadoes magically shoot you on top of rocks?

What kind of organization makes you buy things from a shop to gain access into their organization?

What kind of mailman drops mail everywhere?

With badges, jumping on fire and spikes are COMPLETELY POSSIBLE?

Taking out your heart will make you invincible, and eating it will make you uninvincible again?

Shy guys have their own language?

Princesses' fireplaces aren't real. Try it. They're secret passages.

Big ghosts like to steal living electrical thingys and stick them into lamps.

How exactly did Bowser steal the Star Rod?

Why do Yoshis trust their kids to a talking fish?

What exactly IS a podoboo? How does that even exist?

Flowers are REALLY greedy. They won't give you things that you need to save the world unless you help them.

Aren't Golden Crazy Dayzees over-powered? Just a little?

What's with the ice castle? Why are there mirror images of your partners?

Speaking of which, how come, when little things surround a boss, they're invincible?

How do Bowser statues talk?

How exactly does Jr. Troopa grow wings and a spike on his head?

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Okay. That's all I wrote. R&R. PLOX! =D


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